Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in! Hulk Hogan, that big fella from the wrasslin’, he’s comin’ to Kent, Ohio! Yeah, you heard that right. That big strong guy, Hulk Hogan in little ol’ Kent.
He’s got some kinda beer now, see? Calls it “Real American Beer”. Sounds like a mouthful, huh? Probably tastes like freedom and bald eagles. He’s been all over this here state, pushin’ his drink. He’s gonna be in Ohio for four whole days. I reckon if you’re a fan, you’ll be wantin’ to go. Monday, Tuesday, he’s gonna be here. It’s all over the place, this news.
Now, I ain’t no expert on beer, I usually stick to my sweet tea. But I seen that Hulk Hogan fella on the TV plenty of times, back in the day. He was a big deal, always tearin’ his shirt off and yellin’. He’s gonna be at the Water Street Tavern, that place down there in Kent. Good ol’ tavern, that one.
- He’s sellin’ beer.
- He’s a big wrasslin’ guy.
- He’s comin’ to Kent, Ohio.
- He’s gonna be at the tavern.
They say he’s also an actor, too. Can you believe that? I guess them muscles ain’t just for show. He must be somethin’ to be on TV and in movies and now sellin’ beer. Maybe it’s good beer, this “Real American Beer”. I don’t rightly know. I’m just sayin’, that’s a lot for one man to be doin’.
So, Hulk Hogan’s comin’ to town, and he’s bringin’ his beer with him. If you like that kinda thing, you might wanna go see him. He’s supposed to be at the Giant Eagle too, that grocery store. You know, the one with the big bird on the sign? That’s the place. He’s makin’ a whole lotta stops ’round here. It’s a whole tour, see? This beer must be mighty important to him.
This is big news for Kent, Ohio. We don’t get many famous folks ’round here. Last time I remember somethin’ like this, it was that fella with the funny hair who sang about the birds. Long time ago, that was. This here is bigger, I reckon. Hulk Hogan’s a name everybody knows. He was even in that WWE Hall of Fame. That’s the big time right there, don’t you know?
Now I heard some folks sayin’ they’re gonna go meet him. Get a picture, maybe an autograph. I don’t know about all that. Seems like a lot of fuss for a fella sellin’ beer. But hey, to each their own, right? If you’re into that wrasslin’ stuff, or you just like that Hulk Hogan, then you do you. I reckon it’ll be a good time.
- He was a big time wrestler.
- He’s in the Hall of Fame.
- He’s an actor now, too.
- He’s sellin’ “Real American Beer.”
This whole thing’s got the town talkin’, I tell ya. Everyone’s wonderin’ what he’s like in person. Is he as big as he looks on TV? Does he really yell like that all the time? I guess we’ll find out soon enough. He’s gonna be here any day now, pushin’ his “Real American Beer”. I just hope they got enough of it, cause it seems like everybody in Kent, Ohio and the whole of Ohio is gonna want a taste!
Maybe he’ll even wrestle somebody while he’s here. Wouldn’t that be somethin’? Hulk Hogan, wrasslin’ right here in Kent. I doubt it, though. He’s probably too busy sellin’ that beer. He’s all over Ohio, pushin’ that stuff. He must really believe in it. Or maybe he just likes beer. Who knows? I don’t. I just know it’s gonna be a big to-do.
So, there you have it. Hulk Hogan, the wrasslin’ man, the movie man, the beer man, comin’ to Kent, Ohio. It’s the talk of the town. If you see him, tell him I said “howdy”. And maybe try some of that “Real American Beer”. Who knows, it might be the best darn beer you ever had. It might just taste like freedom, like I said before. Or maybe it just tastes like beer. I don’t know nothin’ about beer, really. But I do know that Hulk Hogan is a big deal, and him coming here is even bigger. It is gonna be somethin’ else.
