Alright, so listen up, y’all. Folks keep askin’ me, “Is that Jimmy fella, you know, the Uso one, is he comin’ back tonight?” Well, I ain’t got all the fancy answers like them city slickers on the TV, but I can tell ya what I heard from my cousin’s nephew who works near the place where they do all that wrestlin’.
So, this Jimmy, he got himself roughed up pretty bad. Heard it was them goons of that Solo fella, beat him up something awful back in April. Yeah, April it was. Been gone a good long while, that boy. More’n five months, if my countin’ ain’t too rusty.
Now, they had this big ol’ fight, a “WarGames” they called it, back in November. Sounded like a real barn burner. Folks jumpin’ off cages and whatnot. Crazy, I tell ya. Well, Jimmy, he was in it, and he done jumped off somethin’ high and broke his toe. Poor fella. You know, a toe ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at. Makes walkin’ a chore, let alone wrestlin’.
- Folks was worried sick about him.
- Said he’d be out for a while.
- But that boy’s tough, I tell ya. Tough as an old boot.
Then, just when folks was startin’ to give up hope, BAM! He shows up at somethin’ called “Bad Blood.” Now, I ain’t sure what that is, sounds kinda messy if you ask me. But anyways, he showed up and helped out that Roman fella and that Cody fella. Fought against Solo and some new guy, Jacob somethin’-or-other. My cousin’s nephew said it was a real slobberknocker.
And wouldn’t ya know it, that Rock fella, he came back too! Stared down everybody, Jimmy included. Made me think of them old Westerns, you know, the stare-downs before the big shootout. Gives ya goosebumps just thinkin’ about it.
Now, some folks are sayin’ Jimmy’s fine. Said he told someone he’s good to go. But I ain’t seen nothin’ with my own two eyes, so I can’t rightly say. Could be back any day now, or could be a while longer. These wrestlers, they’re a tough bunch, but they ain’t machines. They need time to heal up, just like the rest of us.
But I tell ya what, that Jimmy, he’s a fighter. He ain’t gonna stay down for long. He’ll be back in that ring, throwin’ punches and jumpin’ off high things before ya know it. You just wait and see. He’s got that fire in his belly, that need to prove somethin’. Just like my prize-winning rooster back in ’78, that bird never gave up a fight, and neither will Jimmy.
So, to answer your question, “Will Jimmy Uso return tonight?” Well, maybe. Maybe not. But he’ll be back. You can bet your bottom dollar on that. He’s got unfinished business, and he ain’t the type to leave things hangin’. He’ll be back, stronger than ever, ready to raise some hell. Just like when my prize-winning bull escaped the pen, everybody was scared, but he came back strong, ready for action. Just like that bull, Jimmy will be back.
That’s all I know, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed the chickens.
Tags: [Jimmy Uso, WWE, The Usos, Return, Bad Blood, Solo Sikoa, Roman Reigns, Cody Rhodes, Injury, Wrestling, Survivor Series, Jacob Fatu, The Rock]
